Have you ever found with cleaning that one job leads to another? In January I did some de-cluttering and whilst clearing out a hall cupboard I found mould in the back of it. After removing the shelves, cleaning and replacing them I’m at last ready to reorganise!
Forgiveness is also a deep cleansing work, involving several steps.
I didn’t enjoy having to do a deep clean – it was hard and unpleasant work. Forgiveness is also hard because it touches on painful memories and so we may try to distract ourselves instead. Unfortunately distraction just puts off the inevitable wave of feelings that gate-crash our peace.
Unforgiveness, like mould, can seep through our lives if we leave it unaddressed.
Signs of unforgiveness
The signs of unforgiveness can be that we feel brittle with pain and have a short fuse on our anger. It can harden our consciences and we may hurt those we love without realising it. Thankfully there is a way out of this distressing cycle.
This article is a Christian guide to forgiveness and its life-giving outcome.
If you are not sure about whether you are a Christian please see this page first, Becoming a Christian. Without the living experience of God it is impossible to forgive in an ongoing way in this lifetime.
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Christian forgiveness:
Over 2000 year ago Jesus anticipated that in the years before and beyond 2026 we would need to be forgiving other people!
Jesus told a powerful story of a servant who had his great debt of money cancelled. The servant, (whose debt was cancelled), then ruthlessly pursued a fellow servant who only owed him a few pence. Jesus said the unmerciful (unforgiving) servant was then was then punished for his lack of mercy1.
In the Lord’s prayer we ask for our sins to be forgiven, before we go on to pray that we may forgive others. We remember God’s forgiveness as we forgive others.
So before we begin let’s remember this part of the Lord’s prayer1 on forgiveness:
‘Please forgive us our sins’:
- Is anyone on our conscience, (ask for forgiveness from the Lord first, over time He will guide you about any redress to make).
‘As we forgive those who sin against us.‘
The life-giving path of forgiveness–
Forgiveness is not saying that wounds caused to us do not matter, they do matter, and need the healing that God shares as we forgive.
Imagine you are in a room and in its are many people who do not understand your pain, it is isolating, but in the room you invite the Lord Jesus in, and He does understand you, wordlessly, as you look at His face, you know He understands.
Forgiveness is asking the Lord Jesus into the painful memories of our hearts so we are not alone and misunderstood in those memories, instead we have a saving Friend who will join us as we remember and will let His wounds, be used to heal our broken hearts.
Forgiveness is asking for any bitterness, (towards the person who hurt us), to be rooted out of us by the Lord.
So we begin:
- Write a list of 3 or 4 people that you need to forgive.
- Start with one person on the list, (choose a smaller matter to forgive, not the hardest person on the list).
- Deal with one person today,
- Say a prayer to the Heavenly Father, explaining how this person has hurt you. Here’s an example, but use your own words.
Heavenly Father, I have been badly hurt by ……………. when they………………….
With the help of your Holy Spirit in me, I forgive ………………, please heal me of the wounds they have caused me. Dear Lord Jesus I forgive ………………….for ………………………..I release my feelings of (sadness, .……………………into your hands).
Dear Lord Jesus thank you that by your wounds I am healed2in your good time. Please come into my heart and this memory and begin your healing work today.
In Jesus name Amen.
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Forgiveness is an act of trust between us and God. We are allowing the mercy of the Lord Jesus to flow through us to others.
It takes time to feel the peace of forgiving others, some wounds may be felt through our lifetime, because ultimately Christians are fully healed when we meet the Lord face to face.
Signs of forgiveness…
Forgiving is like rain falling on hard ground, it make take several showers to soften our hearts, as we forgive others, but it is wonderful to be less brittle with pain and more softened by Lord Jesus working in us.
Be willing to confess any bitterness to the Lord, so that it does not spread and take hold. Ask Him to remove any roots of bitterness from your heart4 and ask Him to help you show compassion towards your enemies5, by His gracious work in you.
- Return to your list on another day and forgive the next person on it.
- You may need to repeat this process on the same person at regular intervals.
Please also note that the Lord will also lead us to reconciliation where possible, but this is another topic with further steps, so for now, start here with forgiveness.
As we trust God and forgive, expect life-giving revelations from Him that help us grow in strength and peace.
To conclude this article I have permission to share this anonymous testimony:
A Christian forgave a person who ridiculed them in their workplace.
The Christian forgave the person who hurt them in prayer. Then the Lord revealed that the reason the incident was so painful was because the Christian was suffering from self-hatred from a previous trauma. The Christian then began praying for healing from self-hatred, (confessing it as wrong belief to hold and asking for healing) and received profound healing from the Lord). The Christian was able to meet the colleague at work without fear or hatred afterwards.
May the Lord help us on the difficult but life-giving path of forgiveness.
Footnotes:
Bibliography:
All Scripture quotations in this website and this post are taken from the Holy Bible,
New International Version
Copyright 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society used by permission of Hodder an Stoughton a division of Hodder Headline Ltd. All rights reserved. “NIV” is a registered trademark of Internal Bible Society UK trademark number 1448790
- Matthew 18 verses 21-35 ↩︎
- Matthew 6 verses 9-13 ↩︎
- Isaiah 53 verse 5 ↩︎
- Hebrews 12:15 ↩︎
- Matthew 5v44 ↩︎
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